Sunday, February 24, 2013

Beautiful randomness!

Let's have a little bit of random craziness today.
Gabbi has developed a new (strong) affinity to lipstick!  She has to have some in her hand every single day.  The silver lining is that she has now learned to swipe it off above and below her lips to clear it all off her face.  It was a process, but we are finally there.
The craze around here is for the kids to ask their dates to Prom with some sort of significance.  Write it on the windows of their car, spell it out in pinecones in the yard, etc.  So, Paula recruited me to help Clayton with this special piece of jewelry to give his best girl on Valentine's Day.
It must've been successful because he snatched up his date!
Next, the most recent personality test we have explored at MMPT is The 5 Love Languages.  I took the test, and COULD NOT BELIEVE what my love language was.  In fact, I hesitate to discuss it, even at work, because I am a bit confused about it.  "They" say that your love language is really the outward demonstative way you show love.  And I would've sworn that was Giving Gifts.  I feel like I "reward" my workers with gifts, I shower my kids with gifts, and well, if I love you, I probably have given you a gift. However, when I took the test, gift giving ended up being my LAST area!  Everybody at MMPT jokes with me about not being a hugger.  I don't hug a lot, I dont' go up and do the shoulder squeeze, etc, and yet, it turned out to be number three.  And my number one?  Words of Affirmation!  I was literally shocked.  I am not a big verbal praiser.  I don't give you the googoo, you're doing so awesome, stuff that some of my CLEARLY words of affirmation need.
So, you can imagine how surprised I was when the test showed that to be my number one. So, I have just sat with this and tried to figure it out.  And here's what I have realized.  I am a blogger.  I LOVE connection with people.  I LOVE to talk.  I LOVE to use my words!  And it bothers me when I dont' get comments (I only got three yesterday!  Just sayin!... Somebody speak my language, please!!  ha)  I LOVE to tell stories on instagram and facebook.  It is in my soul... as strange as that seems.  But, if we go back to my 5 main strengths, per StrengthFinders 2.0 (which I THINK I have discussed here, but is very, very important to me, and we LIVE by this at MMPT!), I am at my core,  Maximizer (I put people in their strength area and recognize their strengths... which is why I LOVE all this stuff) and a Communicator!  WORDS!  And my other strengths were Ideation (Creative) and Futuristic (always thinking ahead), and my number one?!  WOO... Winning Others Over, aka that person who "works the room".  Tries to touch every person present in every situation.  So, how do I touch them?  with WORDS.  It IS in fact, how I love!  Hmmm...Maybe just not how I THOUGHT I showed love.  And also, Words of affirmation can be my teaching and sharing my life.  It doesn't necessarily have to be "you're so awesome" kind of words.  It can be my sharing with you my story, my life, my experience, and longing to hear yours too.  Connection!  I also came to realize how much it means to me when someone tells me how cute my kids are or how successful my practice is.  I really feel great love for that person when I hear that my girls are smart, or that they look like me, or that my staff totally serves them and understands what it means to give of themselves fully.  It has nothing to actually do with me, but I take so much happiness from this compliment.  Words of affirmation.  I can honestly say, this is NOT how Todd communicates love to me.  He is a great gift giver.  And he is so-so at Quality time, which was my second best.  So, now how to get him to understand my primary love language?!  The good news for him is that I don't feel that my "love tank" is running low.  I get a lot of affirmation from many, but he and I are going to have a talk about this soon.  And I am going to MAKE him take the test.  So far, he's refused!  And strangely, I have no idea what his love language is either.  I am guessing Acts of Service, as he does all of our laundry and cooks all of our meals, and shuttles the girls to gymanastics and dancing, soooo.... maybe he gives what he is actually needing.  I feel the closest to him when we are spending QUALITY TIME, though.  It's not that often, but to sit with JUST HIM on the couch to watch a movie, or to go on a roadtrip, just the two of us.  We used to spend lots of that kind of time together, but now we are swamped in little girl time!  So, that boy is going to have to take the test, soon!

Shall I move on?!  WOW!
Oh, wait.  NO I can't!  I want to share one more thing! Remember, it's my way of loving you!  ha  I discovered that Ellie's is Quality Time!!  And Gabbi Girl's is clearly Physical Touch!  She wakes in the morning and reaches to rub my arm or hold hands!  But, the first thing out of her mouth is "I love you, mom" , which is also what I hear should she wake up in the middle of the night for even a split second.  She is just full to the rim with love.  It is the first thing she thinks of when given a tiny speck of time to talk, "I love you".  But, she strokes me and rubs me and wants to sit close to me AT ALL TIMES.  As for Ellie... nooooot so much!  She is the kid who (and I didn't realize this until I really thought about my kids' love languages), can tell me every single parent who has been to eat lunch with their child this year!  I mean, like, "Anderson's mom has been once.  Isabellas' mom has been 4 times, Logan's mom has been 3 times"... etc.  She even said, "and you have been two times.  That one time when you came with Gabbi.  And then you and dad and JinJin and Pops all came at Thanksgiving.  Remember?"  It means a lot to her that I walk her in the school in the morning.  And she CRAVES time with just me to sit in the art room and do projects together.  Maybe I'll be surprised someday that I am wrong.  But for now, I am trying to show them love through their unique languages.  I had my schedulers actually SCHEDULE in times to eat lunch with Ellie for the next three weeks. And when I first walk in the door after work, Gabbi runs to me screaming, "Mooom's home!"  And I swoop her up and love on her EVERY day.  And within the first 10 minutes, I have shifted to looking at Ellie's papers from school and sitting on the counter with her (just being honest here!), to talk about her day.
Shew.  Tired of me yet?!  Let's move along, shall we?

So, this is our Christmas card this year.  I don't know if I ever shared it.  I am such a slacker blogger lately.  Sorry.  It's going to be a really great blog week though, so hang on!  And let me redeem myself.
My friend, Becky Sherwin, with Focus Photography, took these pics for me.
And since this is supposed to be a random post, let me say, I really love the quote above, "When the why gets stronger, the how gets easier."  Good thought.  And the one below too.  It was on a card in Tucson... "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."  Gilda Radner.
My older kid is obsessed with the game Temple Run, which is an app on my phone.  She screenshots every one of her scores and saves them in my photo roll!  By the way, I got all brave this past week and uploaded EVERY single one of my photos on my computer and then deleted over 2000 pics off my phone.  I got really tired of having to delete a few just to take a new photo.  And so... GONE!  Wow.  That was BRAVE and scary and lightened my load.  And now, I have Temple Run scores all over my camera roll!  Ha.  ANd by the way, if you are a player yourself, she has now reached 351,000.   I CANNOT even fathom that!! I don't hardly break 30,000 (when I am spending Quality Time with I don't like to play those games.)

This is what I did the day I got back from Tucson!  The GO-GO part of my wanted to get a whole bunch done.  I had to totally resist the urge to clean out my suitcase and get my mind ready for the week!
But instead, I did this!
And I will never, ever regret the time I spent doing just this on that Sunday afternoon.  Even crazy, hyperkinetic, antsy, overachieving ME!
If nothing I said today made much sense, forgive me.  I was just typing.  And next thing you know, I was off on one of my string of thoughts and words.  If I go back and read it and proof it, I might change my words or add to them, so I think I just won't.  They are pure.  The words reflect my stream of consciousness as they were coming to me.  Feel free to chime back to me.  Remember, I am a words of affirmation girl.  Hey... WHO KNEW?!



Zhohn said...

I enjoy the random posts :) I really can't believe how big the girls are getting, so thankful you're still sharing them with us.

Going take the test!

Denise said...

I lub you, Mo. And I send you big hugs. You're an awesome Mom and friend. xo :D

Unknown said...

Love hearing about your love language! I need to take that test! I'm sure my hubby would be like Todd and not take it!

Unknown said...

Love hearing about your love language! I need to take that test! I'm sure my hubby would be like Todd and not take it!

kimybeee said...


i love the random posts - i love any post you do (if i had to pick one to not like it would be the self help/jmaxwell kinda stuff lol) i enjoy all of your projects and people and interesting things you do!!

i also know you love comments - i usally catch your blog at night right after you have posted and if you have no comments yet i try to be first. if you have some, it is a toss up. if you have many, i know you are satisfied lol

now my question is since you are mo to hunter, hayden, jake and madi - what are you gonna be to staci's new grandbaby!!!!! please post an update about the raborn clan. jin and pops and everybody has been collecting dust on the old blog! i am friends with staci and don both on fb and they are just not very informative as to how things are going!!!!

and todd - don't take the test!!!!

Mbeaty19 said...

I think this was a very interesting blog. Which your random blogs usually are. Sometimes that random blog has the most insight. I'm totally like that I randomly write all the time when things pass through my mind that seem like I need to write them down. Later I will go back and read what I have written. I love it because I usually find I've written things I really don't remember writing. Once again a lot of insight to the person I am and the soul is so great.

I think it's great that your foster your girls and there love languages. I completely understand what you mean about the importance of 'knowing' their language. Johnathan is SO MUCH like Gabbi. When he wakes up in the morning he has to rub my cheek and gives me little kisses. He needs a lot of hugs and squeezes. Charles on the other hand is up and going the minute he's awake. He needs the rough and tumble moments and likes being my exercise partner (movement is his friend).
I really understand how you felt about being surprised gift giving was the lowest on the list because anyone can see that you enjoy giving gifts. Yet thinking about a lot of your gifts it's the words that make them so special. I think of your canvases and how the words you add make them unique. Even more when you made the talisman for people it wasn't the talisman alone that made them special but your perfect explanations of what each piece meant that had the true meaning.
Looking forward to all your post this week and hoping for more of your random post and the insight conveyed in them. Keep it up - We are all following. (To help you and your love language I promise to post on all your post this week.)

Lisa said...

Random posts and lazy days ... when less is more!

Beth E. said...

Nothing - absolutely nothing is more important than spending time with your family, and you do such a great job with that! Those girls will be grown before you know're making wonderful memories with them.

I took the Love Language test a few minutes ago. I think my husband will refuse to take it, though. LOL

The Gilda Radner quote is a hoot. That's my style, too!

Have a great week, Mo. With your personality and zest for life, I can't picture you having one any other way! :-)

Jeni said...

Mo - Your girls are adorable. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I come to your blog everyone morning to see what's going on in the Groves lives. You inspire me to be crafty and to enjoy the little moments in life. Thank you for that.

On another note....
I am a HUGE Duck Dynasty fan. How well do you know them? Do you go to the same Church? Does Mary Allison go to school with any of Willie's kids?

Riley said...

Thoughts straight from your heart and mind make for a surprising and refreshing read. I LOVE the Jim Rohn quote and pinned lots of his quotes after reading this one. While words of affirmation isn't what I initially would have thought your love language would be it certainly makes sense. Mine are quality time with physical touch and words of affirmation tied. I think the 5 love languages is fascinating to look at introspectively, but also incorporating it into our everyday actions and ways we love others. You are one fabulous mother, blogger, PT/boss/business owner, wife, and all the other hats you wear. I'm proud of you for having intentional moments to connect with Ellie and Gabbi's individual love languages. It is truly in those times that you will AFFECT each of their beings. Keep on being you, Mo! I love this kind of blog post.

Becky said...

I'm sorry, but what's with the comment above about Staci's grandbaby???? Did I miss something???????

Becky said...

So, just took the test and not surprised! I scored an 11 for Acts of Service. The other day I was complaining about having to do everything around the house BY MYSELF, and my husband was complaining about our girls not helping more than they do... he said "I bust my a## off at work everyday, I'm not coming home to do these chores!!"
I was hurt! I, too, work outside the home. Was he saying I don't work hard? Although my job is in the health care field, so I'm in a a hospital everyday, and he works outside (right now in COLD weather here in MN)... does that mean his job is more important???

Unknown said...

LOVE your blog Mo and even if the comments aren't as many as you'd like, know that there LOTS of silent lurkers like me who LOVE your blog and look forward to your writing and your musings. You are such an inspiration and I love reading about your girls and your life and work. Keep up the great work!!!

Amy K said...

Your random posts are great. I wish I could get my husband to take the test. I think it would be very telling for us, because we are so different in this area. I've also never thought about it in terms of my kids. Thanks for giving me the push to consider them in the scheme of our family unit's love languages.
Happy Monday to you, Groves family!

Mama J said...

Busted! I am a faithful reader of your is like crack to me. I don't like it when you are actually taking a few days off and not selfish of you. LOL...I apologize for not commenting more but I honestly figured you could care less about my thoughts as you have so many friends that you know better. I will try to do better and when I do comment, at least I will try to make some sort of sense in my post. From the Bibles gifts...I am most certainly a 'giver'. I love to give whether in service or 'some'thing...but it took me a LONG time to realize that I should not expect the recipient to respond in the manner that I think they should. That was a real eye opening discovery for me. Everyone shows their thankfulness in different ways...and it has made my 'gift giving' much more satisfying. I give because I want to...material things or support for those who are hurting. I want the trails that I have walked in my life to perhaps help someone who might need a little push as they walk that walk. You are special so many people. (BTW, I figure Todd might be a GREEN like my husband...I am Yellow, Blue, Orange and Green in True Colors. We are total opposites!) Once I figured his rationality out and he mine....things made more sense...wahahaha...Adore you Mel!

Shannon said...

You 'speak' to me all the time. Thanks for that. And thanks for blogging.

snekcip said...

Enjoying the "random post". Love language...hmmmm gotta take that test.

Leigh Ann said...

I love to read your blog ( even though I think I get a little more home sick each time)

Leigh Ann said...

I didn't finish my previous comment. Mollie still talks about your art class. Ruby continues to ask if we can have a house like your house :). Keep up the blogging. We really are reading.

Leigh Ann

jenny said...

You GO, Mo! I think the Love Languages stuff is so important. Glad you are cluing in on that with Todd AND your girls. God bless.

Becky said...

This is a great post Mel! I love that we also know our kids love language. It's fun to do this at work and incorporate it w/ everyone -- makes working @ MMPT a great place!! :)

Unknown said...

Ooof, Mo! Have read you for years but this is my first comment, because I totally "get" love languages and the need to be fed. I am not sure you know, but people have two love languages, one on how they give love and the other on how they receive love and they are RARELY the same. Dr Gary Chapman is pretty amazing to read! What John Maxwell book would you recommend for a newbie to start with?

melanie, aka Mo said...

Courtney, that depends on your age, where you are I life, are you leading others? Desire to do so? Etc. he has, like, 80 books. Email md more details and I'll try to guide you.