Monday, June 10, 2013

Poolside, art,and mama guilt

Just gotta show it once again... this baby girl is C.U.T.E.!!
And suddenly, this year, she is also B.R.A.V.E!!  By the end of the week, she was doing this WITHOUT floaties!!
and in the "deep" end (4'!!).  But still, she couldn't touch, which meant she was actually swimming!
And see that 1.1 behind Ellie?!  It consistently reminded me of 11, or JAKE!  I have pics of Jake in his floaties jumping off that EXACT side of the pool when he was 3 years old.
I let Staci be the fun mom on this particular trip to the pool.
I feel so at odds with myself when I don't want to do the "fun" things that my girls want me to do!  Is that a normal feeling/ emotion?  Just a few minutes ago, Ellie was begging me to go to the swingset with her outside.  We've only been home a couple of hours, and every bit of that time I've spent unloading suitcases and putting things in their places.
I do NOT want to go swing right now.  But I DO love my kids and want them to have fun and to think of me as a fun mom.  Please tell me I am not the only one.  This is a tough thing for me. Ok... back to the pool, cause it's bringing me down to think about it.
I absolutely love to play with photo apps.  This is a simple one, pic frame, but then I upload it to instagram (melaniemomom if you aren't following this chick), and add a great filter and tada... a MUCH better photo!
Staci WAS the fun mom at this moment.
I was the one at poolside watching about a thousand tricks off the side of the pool, and learning about mixed media projects and art journaling.
Eventually, the mermaid joined me on the pool chairs.

And soon, the craftiness wore off on her, and she was making earrings.  It's a sickness, I tell you!
and one that creates all KINDS of funk on your legs if you aren't careful.  As Suzy and I painted poolside, I had a stain explode on me and it was not your run of the mill water based paint!  Nope!!  It was some sort of dye that did NOT want to come off of me, the chair or the ground.
Suzy was the coordinator of snacks on this particular pool jaunt.  It was really fun having her there with me, mom, Staci and the girls.
OK, if you are getting bored with beach stories, better go find someone else's blog for the next week.  I hae LOTS to share!!



Lisa said...

Looks like another great day! I would say no worries - I couldn't/didn't say Yes every time they wanted me to play, and like your two, mine knew how to entertain themselves when they wanted to. So, when they wanted me and I couldn't, I found they always moved on and found something to engage themselves - I think it is a good lesson in adapting and self-control. They are 23 and 19 now - they seem fine and still love me :)! You're a great mom and a great person!

mom in iowa said...

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that struggles with what to do when my girls ask me to play & I'm just not feeling it. I too feel guilty, but they seem to get along okay & find things to do together, or entertain themselves 'til Mama's ready to play!

Mary said...

Thanks for sharing! I feel the same way-I often feel like I have so much to do-work, cook, clean, pay bills, etc. and the boys are always asking me to play. I try to make it a point to devote time and get out of the house with them but I always feel guilty that it's never enough. :( At the same time, I think they need to know that sometimes in life you just have to wait and you have to entertain yourself. I also try to explain it-mom has to do things to keep the family running and she has to go to work so we can pay the bills. Sometimes Mom also just needs some time for herself. Kids also learn that adults have responsibility but also take time for themselves...

Shannon said...

Bring on the pics!
And you're totally normal! The feeling of being torn - normal. They're only little for a short while. You're very fortunate that you have the ability to do as much as you do with them. They'll be so grateful for it. You rock!

MaryH said...

Kids need to know that sometimes the world is not centered around their every wish, every minute of every day. That is a good lesson in life because as they grow up not everyone is going to drop everything and do exactly as they want, when they want it. There is no guilt to this. It teaches kids to be responsible for their own imagination and entertainment and to know that adults (including their mom who wants more than anything to be able to spend every minute with them to make them feel completely happy) have other things that need to be done to make their world go on.....including just taking the time to be the adult and do adult stuff - like read a book, or do a chore or just not be their constant playmate. It makes them much more resourceful and that is not neglecting them, it is teaching them the way of the world and a respect for us and the time we need - so don't feel guilty, you are parenting - toughest darn job ever to balance but that is a mama's role.

MaryH said...

P.S. As always, enjoying the beach photos and stories - keep them coming, please.

jenny said...

Mel, you have GOT to be kidding. If you ain't the "fun mom" 24/7, then the rest of the world might as well give up and "go to the house" as my Daddy used to say. Good job, FUN-MOM!

snekcip said...

Mo, it's perfectly fine to say "Not right now Honey". I agree with the mom's comments above. Fun-Mom is great...but even "Fun-Mom" gets tired. Great way to teach them to be independent and most of all "PUMP THE SWING" themselves! HA!!

Unknown said...

I deal with mommy guilt too!! I think that's totally normal. Sometimes I would just like 5 minutes of complete silence!! Ha ha

Cori said...

Not tired of the beach!!

Amy K said...

I think we all have those "not right now" mom moments. It's part of real life. Good or bad, our kids have always been subjected to our work first, play second lifestyle. They also contribute to our household chores, and then we can all have as much fun as possible.
From what I see here, you're an amazing mom, your girls are well-balanced, happy, and loved! SUCCESS!

kimmy said...

You ARE a fun Mom. I can see this easily because I have the qualifications! :). I'm a retired 1st grade teacher, and a fun mom./ grandmom myself. There are different varieties of fun moms! You are in the top 1%-- no doubt.
On another note...I just finished reading the whole story of Jake on CaringBridge. I wish everyone would read it. Life-changing.
~ Kim in Tennessee

Becky said...

I hear ya on the mom issue! My house looks like a bomb went off and I have LOADS of laundry to do! (working on all of them!) My 14 yr old wants to be in every sport ALL SUMMER! I just don't want to (and can't!) be running every day! It's just too much sometimes to always be the "Fun Mom!" They'll be fine!

Unknown said...

Oh you are so much more fun than I have EVER been!!! I've never posted before (although I've been reading since Jake was a wee bitty thing getting tx) but your post made me want to let you know how normal this is! I have a 14&15 year old and I'm an oncology RN , I'm exhausted (mentally and physically) often, but my kids have known for a long time that life doesn't revolve around have fun 100% of the time! And just remember you are a great mom and telling them no every once in a while is a good life lesson!


Me The Q said...

I think almost every mom struggles with mom guilt over something. I want to be the fun mom too but often am the only parent home with my kids because the hubby works shifts and sometimes I just have to tell the boys no we can't go do "fun request" because we have to go to the grocery store or whatever we have to do. I try and allow our schedule to be flexible to work in fun stuff but it doesn't always work.